For those of you who have read my previous posts you might have wondered why I had stopped writing them. The simple answer is I write them when I have to use my worry beads as I find myself in a “bad place”. For me now with constant use of worry beads all the little things that caused me problems I can now cope with. This leaves me with just the big things that threaten to destroy my life.
Once such instance is happening as I type and unfortunately it will not be going away anytime soon. To explain, I purchased a disused water pumping station four years ago from a water board. The site had not been touched for many years and I even had to clear a path through the brambles and stinging nettles for the valuer to make his assessment. Some months after buying it I had fully cleared the site and removed two large trees that were growing out of the side of the building. I was contacted by someone claiming they owned the property even though I was the registered owner at the Land Registry. The claimant refused to resolve the matter and time has past by. A week ago I was contacted by a firm of solicitors acting for the claimant. It appears they might have a valid claim against the property. I am the innocent party and the firm of solicitors were very polite and understanding.
So why am I needing my worry beads? The site is a place I go to relax. It is miles out into the country and very peaceful. It feels like nothing is scared, I purchased the land in good faith and I have no reason to believe that if the water board did not own the property when they sold it to me it was just a genuine mistake that all of us make. My problem is that the claimants who disappeared for four years might do that again but I am left up in the air not knowing if they will just claim compensation from the water board or lodge an application with the Land Registry to take ownership of my hideaway.
My problem is I cannot get it out of my mind not knowing what will happen. Logic says to me there is nothing to worry about as the water board will always “see me right” if the claim is legitimate. I have been using my three sets of worry beads at every opportunity to try and break the obsessive thinking I keep having. I have to admit they are having limited success.
It is only this morning that I think I have come up with a solution. The key benefit of using worry beads is for them to be a distraction. I think I have become too familiar with my daily sets. I am therefore trying an experiment that at the moment seems to be working well. I have designed myself a completely new set of worry beads to use. My wood turner made a few pears in mulberry which is a wood we do not usually supply. In addition he made a pear in between the normal size pear and the 1Pear (king). I decided that as I have never had a set of worry beads with a larger pear I would use the “odd” pear to create a new set for myself. I haven’t used kangaroo for a while so I have thread them with that cord and instead of a one stone or two stone design I have chosen to alternate moss agate, Ambronite and carnelian stones. My new set looks and feels completely different to what I am used to, and they are working already.
I have been unable to concentrate on anything but the most simple of tasks but now feel able to share my thoughts with you. It feels like a have had someone or something stop my life and let me put things into perspective. Logic told me I had nothing to worry about but the reality was far from it. Now I can stand back and wait for someone else to progress my issue. I have done everything I can so now I have to be patient. Getting ill over something I cannot control will not help so I shall not get ill. Whilst writing this it feels so peculiar to think a new set of worry beads has made the difference but they have. And for those of you who also have anxiety and depression issues when has logic ever helped with our illnesses. All I know is, I feel better.
The English Worry Bead Co