It did not take long, about an hour after writing the first entry, before I had my first incident needing worry beads. I shall call this the “TV Aerial Saga”. When we bought our house there was a relay system in the roof to allow SKY TV through the aerial points around the house. For months the signal in our bedroom was intermittent. My wife would go climb the steps to the loft hatch, fiddle with the cable and it would work again. A couple of days ago all the fiddling would not cure it, but leave a fuzzy picture, really annoying! I try and avoid this sort of thing as the frustration sends my anxiety through the roof (sorry, please pardon the pun!).
It became apparent that I would have to get involved, so I offered to get into the loft and try and fix the problem. I was fine to start with but no amount of fiddling with cables made any difference. I noticed that the socket on the relay box was lose and thought this must be it. I knew this was a situation where I could get into trouble so I breathed slowly and tried to take things nice and slow. I calmly decided that the easy solution would not be to try and fix it but to replace the box. A few minutes on the internet identified that a replacement, with the same description that was written on my existing box, could be purchased locally. My wife was dispatched to buy it. The shop online showed they had one unit left but experience has told us that may not be the case and if so, my anxiety would go mad!
After a short while she returned with the replacement unit (hooray!) and I was still calm, a real treat! I took the new box into the rloft and unplugged the faulty unit. Oh no, we had bought an aerial booster unit that did not take standard aerial connectors, aahhhh! Why sell aerial units that do not take aerial connectors? The end of calm but I was still in control. My wife was dispatched again to the shop she had bought the new unit from. I have to admit I did not use my worry beads as I was so focused on getting the problem sorted. In hindsight I should have used them. She returned with adapters and an apology from the shop who said they should have sold her them the first time. Back in the loft space I connected everything up and it didn’t work. I changed around the cables, I am not sure what that would do, but the situation seemed completely illogical. I am a very logical person and cannot cope when logic falls apart.
I was fully in “anxiety mode” but did not use my worry beads, my mind could not pull away from the issue. Somewhere I gathered the common sense to read the instructions, I know, typical man, but it was a simple box with cable plug-ins?? I read the instructions and they gave no advice. Anxiety off “the scale” now but outwardly I was trying to hide it from my wife, I didn’t want to upset her. I used my relaxation techniques to try and calm my mind and it occurred to me to read the rest of the piece of paper that had the instructions on it. In another section headed up, “Resetting your Sky box” it gave instructions how to do this. There was no explanation why you had to do this, but there had to be a reason it was there. I called down for my wife to go off and undertake the instructions. She returned and everything worked.
What a relief but unfortunately it had come at a price. My anxiety was wild but I was still hiding it. I went down stairs on my own and got out my 1Pear worry beads and started to move the stones about. After about a minute I was feeling worst. Many of you might recognise the fact that if unchecked the anxiety just continues to accelerate out of control. I put them down and took out my 2Pear worry beads. I had learnt a trick with my right hand (I am right handed) and was still trying to master it with my left. I started and stared at the wooden pear as it rotated over my hand. I was “connected” with the motion. I know from experience that if I use the 2Pear worry beads slowly I can slow my heart rate. I concentrated hard and slowed down my hand movements. I kept failing in my trick but carried on. After a while I started to get better at the trick and made fewer mistakes. At last I was performing the trick with some expertise (far from perfect, but an improvement). I smiled to myself that I had done so well. I then realised that I was no longer anxious. The events with the aerial had disappeared and I was back to normal.
If you have found this interesting or have anything to add, please feel free to note a response. I shall be back soon with another example of how I use my worry beads to help manage my anxiety and depression, I am sure of it!
The English Worry Bead Co