For 18 years I have had to manage severe anxiety and depression but in the last couple of years I have used worry beads as an addition to my control mechanisms. One of my main issues is where
“what is right” does not happen because of some personal agenda someone has. I have spent many months getting planning permission for a new premises for the business. With the planning permission came restrictions that were insisted upon by the County Council Highways Department. I also suffer from Asperger’s Syndrome which makes me high brain functioning but my curse is I have to understand things that restrict me. I therefore looked up the law relating to the restrictions and it was completely different to that, that was stated by the council. I therefore appealed the restrictions.
Many months of submitting reports and all the planning application paperwork again resulted in the Planning Inspectorate informing me that they wished me to withdraw my appeal or I may be in danger of losing the planning permission I already had. I asked for details why this was the case but they refused to tell me. Experience has taught me that when someone will not give an explanation of their actions it normally means they are wholly inappropriate and in some cases illegal. As planning is a legal process I assume there is some hidden illegality, but I will never know. Not that I have dropped the subject but the Planning Inspector suggested an alternative to the appeal. It seems that under the Town and Planning Act you can get permission from the planning authority to ignore the conditions. This all sounds ridiculous as they are the ones that put them in to the planning permission.
So all this “mucking about” for a normal person would just be frustrating however for me the “red lights went off”. Whilst planning is important I do also have to get work done but could I get this out of my head, NO! I tried to work for half an hour but gave up. Experience has shown me that if I do something to distract me I can get myself back to normal and forget the planning issues while I am not dealing with them. So, if you have read my other blogs you will know that worry beads are an excellent way to distract from negative thoughts. On this occasion they did not work alone so plan B came into force. I find that if I watch a film that I love it will act as a strong distraction. Before using worry beads I used to do this regularly but it would take days if not weeks before I was fully back to normal.
So, I got myself comfortable with one of my favourites, but alas I could not get planning out of my head. It was the injustice of it, I had spent months doing the appeal only to be blocked with no reason. If one tool to manage my anxiety does not work, always use multiples. I hate taking medication so just take the minimum to keep me normal so I reverted to my worry beads again whilst watching the film. They helped to relax me which was my first problem. Every so often my mind would drift from the film and before I had a chance to think of planning I would concentrate on a trick or the differences in my worry beads that make them unique to me. By the time the film had finished I had the process down to a fine art with very little time thinking about negatives. A second film was required but this was long enough for me to remain calm and put everything back into perspective. By getting anxious I was just harming myself not achieving anything.
The lesson to be learnt from this example is not to accept failure in controlling your anxiety. Use everything at your disposal. For me worry beads are an essential tool in my tool kit and I would recommend to anyone to give them a go.