I discovered worry beads a few years ago, trying them out as a joke to start with, until I saw the benefits, and now they are far from that. This is one in a series of blogs in which I share my life experiences where worry beads have made a huge difference to my life. This incident is one of the most traumatic events I have ever been through. We have been having a set of offices built but the first builder we employed was a complete “nightmare”. The result is I am taking him to court to get my money back. My first day in court unfolded as follows.
I had not seen the builder since he walked off with my money so I was a shaking mess. I get muscle spasms and sweat profusely as my heart rate climbs to horrific levels, so when I arrived at court with a friend I could barely use my crutches and the security guard and receptionist had to help me onto a chair. I eventually calmed down sufficient to get into the lift, but you guessed it, the lift would not move, so the shakes quickly returned. My friend and the other occupants of the lift through patience and trial and error eventually got the lift to work. We then found we had been told the wrong floor to go to. Not an issue for any normal person but this was another factor than pushed me into a worst state. We eventually made it to the correct floor and place and advised the court clerk. The builder was nowhere to be seen but I knew I would see him shortly so the stress levels continued to mount.
The builder arrived with two minutes to spare and whoosh the whole nine yards, shakes, sweating and heart pounding so hard it gave me chest pains. So you are probably wondering how this can be a success story for worry beads. Well at this point it was not a success story, that came later. The point I am trying to make is sometimes whatever you do to try and stop the anxiety, nothing will work, but that is alright, we are not all superhuman.
I will continue with my story. We got called into the court room to sit in front of the judge. A small claims case is informal so no wig and gown but a very nice suite. The judge had probably been warned by the clerk but he could not fail to see I was a mess. The purpose of the hearing was to determine if the case would remain a small claim or if it had to be a full blown case. The judge stated that as there was potentially illegal activity to be assessed during the case it would have to be a full trial. Whoosh again, the thought of months or even years of a trial facing the builder was too much. This was a turning point, I could continue to get worse and let the court continue to set up a trial I know I could not cope with or can I get control.
There was a time when if I got anxious there was nothing, apart from strong medication, that could have clam me down and this was certainly not the situation where I could have half an hour for medication to work. What did happen though was the influence worry beads has had on me as a long term, frequent user. I had put a set of worry beads in my shirt pocket and I could feel them pressing into my chest. It was then that my head took a second to think what the worry beads mean to me. I use them to slow me down, to relax and gather my thoughts. That second of tapping into that wise strategy meant I could break the cycle of increasing anxiety levels. What seemed to be a huge length of time passed, but I was told it was like a polite pause, gave me enough time to know I had to deliver a calm rational alternative to the judgement of the court. To my absolute amazement, and to that of my friend, I calmly laid out my case for keeping the case as a small claim. The judge listened to my arguments and restructured the claims so the case could remain as something I could cope with.
There may have been only a few minutes when I behaved in a calm logical way but the impact on me was huge. I also have depression and having had to give up a case when I know I am right would have eaten away at me for weeks and months with dire consequences to my health. The ability I have gained through worry beads for relaxing and slowing me just for the briefest of times so I can get control is life changing for me. Why not try using them yourself?
Kevin
The English Worry Bead Co
www.englishworrybeads.uk
